Tuesday, May 24, 2016


                                                                       
This was going to be a book.  A real book.  To be sold on Amazon and everything.  But as always, I got bored with it before getting out of the first chapter.  Well, I'm putting it out here cause it is cluttering up my Word files and so I'm storing it out here for later.  Just in case my 90- year-old self decides to take up writing.  This can be her writing prompt maybe.   Whatever....
 
                                                         Diaries are such liars

“The life of every person is like a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another.” – Sir James M. Barrie

First off, how do you get to be able to put “sir” in front of your name?  Let’s check into that later, shall we, cause I want to be a sir.  Or a madam…wait… no…  maybe not a madam.  Maybe I’ll be a royal.  The Royal NitaB.  No… maybe I’ll be … Ok, for now I’ll just be Ms. NitaB.  As boring as that is, it’s something… kind of a place holder.
So anyway…  I should call this book, “So Anyway…”  But I think there probably already is one out there called that.  I’m too lazy to check right now, and besides, we need to get back to the diary issue.

I was looking through my documents folder in my Word program and wow.  Just wow.  Who has that many documents to pour through?  Just the titles were overwhelming me.  I was looking for something I wrote two years ago because I wanted to share a little tidbit from there with you.  I never found it.  It is there.  I know it is… unless… it is one of the things that was lost during one of God’s “You need to clean out your Word files, NitaB” moments.  Some call them lightning strikes that kill off your computer.  I like to think there is a blessing in every lightning strike.  My meds allow me to think like that.  If I had meds, they would.  I actually did have meds one time.  But I digress….

Well, I didn’t find the document that I wanted to share with you.  I know… ask for your money back – this book is not complete.  But I did run across several diary ramblings.  I thought I might as well just take a jog down memory lane.  Well, that was an experience and a half.  One entry said, “I wrote for 2 hours this morning. That was actually fun.  I will do this every Tuesday!”  That was 4 years ago.  That was my last entry in that journal.  I have several journals.  That one must have bored me or something.  But the point is, I did Not write for 2 hours every Tuesday.  If I had…  I would have 10 books out by now.  Instead, there is just this one.  And it isn’t even out.  Well, if you are reading this, it’s out. (NOT! Ha!)  But as of this moment in my little world, as I type, it is not out.  Geez… that sentence was even too rambly for me.  Sorry… moving right along.

Another diary entry said, “I am going to have this house decluttered by the end of this month.”   MAN, I wish I had stuck with that one.  I wonder what happened to ruin that plan?  Sounds like I was on a roll.  According to the journal I had cleaned off my whole back porch and was ready to turn it into an office.  I need an office.  Apparently I needed one four years ago too.  I still don’t have one.  I am writing from my den, with a TV carrying on about politics in the background (I HATE politics… do Not get me started), and my neighbors across the street are driving in and out of their driveway.  The nerve.  I am trying to write here and that is totally distracting me.  The washer just stopped making its God-Awful racket, signaling that I should go transfer it into the dryer which makes an even Louder racket.  Maybe I need new appliances.  Maybe I need a higher paying job so I can afford new appliances… who knows what the answer is.  But with all that racket, how am I supposed to write anything of value?  I need an office!  And you thought I forgot what I was talking about.  First I need to Re-declutter that porch.  Someone needs to quit putting their crud on my tidy little porch.  Someone does.  Don’t be looking at me.  I gotta put stuff Somewhere ya know.
 
--- That's all.  No book.  No tidy porch.  No office.  Nada.  What are we going to do with me?  I've got this, 'can't finish anything to save my life' affliction.  Lord knows I Try.  I make lists.  I plot and plan. I read books that tell you all about how to focus.  I try to come back to stuff that I've started.  Futile.  I tell ya. Sighhh... but hey - I finished a blog post.  Yay me.  My apologies to you though.  I'll try to do better next time I'm out here.  Do you still love me?  Circle Yes, or No.  Remember those notes from school?  We were such dweebs.  Fun dweebs tho.   
(Side note:  I just spell checked this and I spelled EVERYTHING right to begin with.  I'm so good!!  Well, "Sighhh" and "tho" are underlined.  Someday I'll have to update their dictionary.  Cause those are right too!)

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

I guess I lied again.  Said I was going to post weekly and I ... uhhh.... let 2 months go by.  I still haven't found me a helper.  Why does no one want to  help me?  It's a fun job.  No pay, but the benefits are... zilch...  ok, I may have found my answer.  So now - this IS a paying job.  I am  here-by paying $5 a week for this job that consists of nothing more than keeping me accountable, daily.  You have to say things like, "Where is today's content?"  and "Don't make me come over there woman." and "No, I don't think your doctor should up your meds.  You are sane.  Honest."  (no eye-rolling though.)    Interested applicants, please submit your resume's below. 

I really have been working on my books a bit more.  I've cut passages out of them, by golly.  I'm sparing you the drudgery of reading things such as how much I like the orange slice on a glass of Blue Moon beer, and other such revelations.  Who cares about orange slices?  Actually - I'm starting to wish I had left that in.  I'm getting happy just now, thinking about it.  If I keep cutting things, there may only be 6 pages left in the book.  But those will be the most awesome pages you ever saw!! 

Today I'm going to the chiropractor.  I went yesterday and he told me how wonderful I am!!  Well, my spine is wonderful anyway. It has no degeneration anyway. So that's good.  Today he is going to adjust me and I will be half crippled when I leave there.  I know this going in, and I'm going anyway.  Maybe I need an assistant for more than just my book writing!   I promise to let you know how things go.  I'll try to  not make you wait  2 months this time.  ;)  Have a happy Tuesday.  Feel free to come visit me in traction. 
---

I'm back, and not in traction!  I don't feel a whole lot different.  But I definitely do not feel worse.  And I'm told that I shall sleep better and have more energy.  If that turns out to be true --- he shall be my new BFF.  :)  I'm all about sleep and energy.  Nothin worse than being too tired to do anything, so you give up and go lay down and ... can't sleep.  So you just get to drag through the day in zombie mode.  That, my friends, is getting really old. 

He had a vibration machine thingy in there that I must own.   It works your body out more in 10 minutes than you could do in a gym in an hour.  I don't really feel like I'm miraculously In Shape, or anything, but if I get up tomorrow and feel like I've been hit by a Mack truck - I'll know it worked.   I am definitely checking into this!!  Stay tuned...