http://www.amazon.com/Humor-Random-Soul-NitaB-books-ebook/dp/B00FFQWNIQ/ref=sr_1_sc_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1385398730&sr=1-1-spell&keywords=humor+for+the+randome+soul
November 29 & 30. Freebie days!!
Hadda get that down before I forgot it. Give me two minutes........and Whooooshhhh.... gone...
Anyway - I had a request for a freebie book deal on my "Humor For the Random Soul" e-book, as it appears that other countries are charged a surcharge or something. I am going to check into that because I think I can do something on my end to eliminate that maybe? My friend, and excellent writer, Michal was talking about it. I need to read and HEED his advice more often! I am so technically challenged that it took me forever to figure out... although Amazon makes it very easy if you know how to READ. Geez......... a writer who can't read. Or comprehend. Or something. But it is figured out and set up and You and anyone who has some Random time on their hands this weekend please feel free to get my book FREE from Amazon (kindle version --- which you can download to your computer or phone or I-pad or anything electronic). Oh --- the dates are Nov. 29th and Nov. 30th!! Please share this info with all your friends, and Please... please... please.... leave a review on Amazon for me. It helps me see that people are reading it, and encourages me to work harder on my next book.
Speaking of which... I have sort of started it. It is a random mess right now (more than usual) and I'm trying to organize it and serious it up a little. I want this next one to be more useful. You know? Like, really Deliver some Usefulness to my readers. But for now... some helpful tips that I will be sharing --- and you get to see it here first!! Lemme know whatcha think:
So I was surfing the web, just minding my own bizzwax, when I saw a "male model" wearing what I thought was Spanx. That underwear that holds all your 'not so desirable' excesses into a neat little bundle, so you appear shapely. I think that's what it's for - I got me a knock off brand once and COULD NOT get into it. Must be some trick. Maybe I needed a bigger size? A bigger crowbar? It was XL though. That OUGHT to be big enough, eh? So I was thinking that it is not fair that women feel this need to pack themselves up into a little uncomfortable tight little mass --- and men get to leave it all hang out and that is actually acceptable. Heck, it is even acceptable by me. I don't care if the Mister is a bit out of shape, but I want ME to look --- fit. Thus, the "Spanx-like" undie torture. Anyway I was glad to see a male model feeling the need to 'get it together.' But no... turns out that he was wearing Shreddies. Or --- ready for this??? FART diffusion underwear. Can be worn by men or women. And then... you can fart away and no one will be the wiser! You can Google it if you so desire. I'll put more details in the book about them, but Can you believe that? Fart Filtering Underwear. Seems like a good idea, but they are EXPENSIVE and the ones who need them the most (in my life) would Never wear them because they appear tight and uncomfortable. Course I'm not meaning to say Spanx is uncomfy. They just look like they would be. And I read somewhere else, that they are Not Good for you. I kind of figured that out on my own. Especially when I couldn't even get into mine and had to spend a month with a therapist over that little blues-fest!! But that's a tale for another day.
So - what do you think? My next book is going to introduce my readers to lots of unusual but potentially Life-Altering/improving info!! Amazing Weird Inventions that make you say --- Why didn't I think of that? Or maybe it'll be Tales From the Tree house... IF I ever get my Tree house. I am beginning to think that I'm going to have to build it myself. It'll need an alarm in it with a direct link to 911. I tend to trip just walking across the yard. Tripping up there.... could be a little more adventurous - to say the least!
Gotta get over to Margueritta's house. We're doing lunch at the park, with Ugly. I'll tell you about him one day. He's a duck. MEAN, mean, mean Duck.... and ugly to boot!
Have a great day... and Happy Thanksgiving Week!!!
Monday, November 25, 2013
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Up Up and Away -- In my beautiful Balloon!!!
Morning! GUESS WHAT I DID last night? I went up in a hot air balloon!!! And it was free! A local realty agency in town (just happens to be the one my daughter and SIL are going to be renting from) sponsored free balloon rides for Veterans Day!! So the 4 of us went on downtown and hopped aboard!! It was FUN. Now I will tell ya, it was tethered. So we couldn't get REAL high. But it was still amazing! I'll put some pics on my FB page for you later. I forgot my camera, so they are in the Mister's phone. Might be a while. But it was pretty cool!! AND then we went to a local restaurant and had a FREE dinner. Free is so nice. If you ever start a business.... hand out some freebies, eh? Speaking of which... I think I'll go out to Amazon and offer up my "Humor for the Random Soul" book, for FREE again. I did it once before. Ya can't get rich doing such things, but I don't know what I'd do with riches anyway. Well, I'd figure it out if I HAD to... but for now, my random brain doesn't need more to think about! But Free is fun. And I'm all about fun, so I'mma give away my book. Wheeeeeeeeeee! ( I know. I know... there are drugs for people like me.... But I can't afford them. Lucky you!!!) (>‿◠)
Monday, November 11, 2013
I'm trying... hang in there!
Wanted to share some things I read this morning. One being:
It was an analogy about a boat in the ocean. (I L♥ve analogies.) A tiny boat on a Huge Ocean is fine, as long as the waters don't start getting rough and start getting inside. Same way in life. Rough as things may be sometimes, if we stay strong Inside, the outside can't hurt us. As much. It's just really hard to keep the outside from getting in sometimes. But we just have to try to weather the storms and pull on our inner strength to get to the sunny side again. And unlike that tiny boat --- we are never really truly alone. We have God's strength within us. He won't let us drown, if we pull on His strength when ours may falter. ♥o♥ (that's supposed to be a smile there. I'm not that good at making faces yet. Well, not on here anyway. The Mister says I'm VERY good at making faces.... but I don't listen to him much, and you shouldn't either! -.O ) That's a wink.... Sad, that I have to explain my "faces". Moving on............
Starting a Pilates fest today. Pilates, to me, is Yoga on steroids. I prefer yoga. BUT a friend was talking about how she gets up at 5:30 in the a.m. to do Pilates. Geez.... So I tried it. Got up at 6:30a.m. (hey --- I tried. Set the alarm for 5:30 but it just didn't work out. I'd probably still be there, but the Mister said, "Really woman. This is my day off!" ooopsie. I got up then! I'd already pushed my luck enough at 4a.m. when I took my "hugger" pillow and rolled over with it. He SAID it was his "hugger" pillow that I Stole right out of his hug. I told him to hush and go to sleep. He kept wimpering (yes, he was) about his pillow and how many pillows did I need anyway... blah blah blah... So I felt around on the floor....................... and there............ was ....... my....... pillow. Ooopsie again! I told him he could have the hugger pillow back. He said, "OH, Found your own, eh?" Hush Mister..... !
So today I'm off to give Pilates a try again. I'll write you from the hospital if it doesn't work out!! Have a nice Veterans Day!!!!! I'm a Veteran, ya know. And so glad I put myself into such good company!!! It's kind of weird when people say, "Thank you for your service." Shoot... I'm just glad they LET me serve. They almost didn't ya know. Cause I'd spent the first half of my life, practically deaf. Turns out I just had massive wax build-up. It was SOOOO weird being able to actually Hear! But some things I was glad that I couldn't hear too well.... God knew full well what He was doing. Course clearing out my ears just so I could hear the drill sergeant Yell "BEAUMONT!! STOP Bouncing. March Properly." ..... ? I coulda used a little muffling for that. And just for the record, I wasn't bouncing. He just hated me. Well, no, he didn't. Once he pulled me out of formation.... to yell at me for bouncing AGAIN.... and I stood there, and he stared at me a while, then started laughing. WHY? I do not know. Guess I'm just funny looking. He sent me away, "Just go."
"But Quit Bouncing!" Wait, no... he called it Bobbing. Quit Bobbing. Yeah. I think I don't bob anymore. Not really sure................. But Anyway ------------ I can't avoid the Pilates forever.......... so --- NitaB out.........
It was an analogy about a boat in the ocean. (I L♥ve analogies.) A tiny boat on a Huge Ocean is fine, as long as the waters don't start getting rough and start getting inside. Same way in life. Rough as things may be sometimes, if we stay strong Inside, the outside can't hurt us. As much. It's just really hard to keep the outside from getting in sometimes. But we just have to try to weather the storms and pull on our inner strength to get to the sunny side again. And unlike that tiny boat --- we are never really truly alone. We have God's strength within us. He won't let us drown, if we pull on His strength when ours may falter. ♥o♥ (that's supposed to be a smile there. I'm not that good at making faces yet. Well, not on here anyway. The Mister says I'm VERY good at making faces.... but I don't listen to him much, and you shouldn't either! -.O ) That's a wink.... Sad, that I have to explain my "faces". Moving on............
Starting a Pilates fest today. Pilates, to me, is Yoga on steroids. I prefer yoga. BUT a friend was talking about how she gets up at 5:30 in the a.m. to do Pilates. Geez.... So I tried it. Got up at 6:30a.m. (hey --- I tried. Set the alarm for 5:30 but it just didn't work out. I'd probably still be there, but the Mister said, "Really woman. This is my day off!" ooopsie. I got up then! I'd already pushed my luck enough at 4a.m. when I took my "hugger" pillow and rolled over with it. He SAID it was his "hugger" pillow that I Stole right out of his hug. I told him to hush and go to sleep. He kept wimpering (yes, he was) about his pillow and how many pillows did I need anyway... blah blah blah... So I felt around on the floor....................... and there............ was ....... my....... pillow. Ooopsie again! I told him he could have the hugger pillow back. He said, "OH, Found your own, eh?" Hush Mister..... !
So today I'm off to give Pilates a try again. I'll write you from the hospital if it doesn't work out!! Have a nice Veterans Day!!!!! I'm a Veteran, ya know. And so glad I put myself into such good company!!! It's kind of weird when people say, "Thank you for your service." Shoot... I'm just glad they LET me serve. They almost didn't ya know. Cause I'd spent the first half of my life, practically deaf. Turns out I just had massive wax build-up. It was SOOOO weird being able to actually Hear! But some things I was glad that I couldn't hear too well.... God knew full well what He was doing. Course clearing out my ears just so I could hear the drill sergeant Yell "BEAUMONT!! STOP Bouncing. March Properly." ..... ? I coulda used a little muffling for that. And just for the record, I wasn't bouncing. He just hated me. Well, no, he didn't. Once he pulled me out of formation.... to yell at me for bouncing AGAIN.... and I stood there, and he stared at me a while, then started laughing. WHY? I do not know. Guess I'm just funny looking. He sent me away, "Just go."
"But Quit Bouncing!" Wait, no... he called it Bobbing. Quit Bobbing. Yeah. I think I don't bob anymore. Not really sure................. But Anyway ------------ I can't avoid the Pilates forever.......... so --- NitaB out.........
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)